WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME

i feel a compulsive need to ruin every good thing that comes my way. of course i would naturally run away from the best thing i’ve had in such a long time. it’s so not fair that one person can make you feel so shitty about yourself and let it affect you for so long after all is said and done.

hey you’re on tumblr too no way 

i honestly hope that no one ever has to experience anxiety attacks the way that i do. i could never wish that upon anybody. out of nowhere it begins to feel like everything is shutting down and you have absolutely no control. every little thing that happens is irritating and all you want to do is not cry, but you can’t avoid it. it’s like all i can think about is how miserable things were even though they aren’t that way anymore. it is the most overwhelming experience on this planet. and they always come in sets of twos. as soon as i think it’s over, an hour later i completely brake down again. even though i know that when i wake up in the morning i’ll be completely fine, right now i am so scared and worked up that i feel like it’s never going to end. i hate this so much, and i don’t hate very many things.